Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(716): View more from New York

u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.

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(216): View more from Ohio

there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.

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(816): View more from Missouri

This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.

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