i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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