I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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