its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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