she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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