I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
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In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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