i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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