Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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