It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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