Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
