There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
