Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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