ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
