She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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