No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
