Nicole vs. Life
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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