its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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