brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
