We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
