i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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