i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize