I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Too much gin, very little bucket
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize