i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
