wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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