Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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