I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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