The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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