if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
