worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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