Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
