haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
