She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
