i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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