just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
