y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Floor bacon is actually really good
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