i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
that is very illegal...i love you.
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