i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
