Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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