Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
