somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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