just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize