His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
