Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
