I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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