Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
