At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
