i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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