those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
