conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
