I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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