Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
