i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
