I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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