Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize