no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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