you would pick up someone in the library
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You ruined the universe
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
