is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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