I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
