Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize