I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
