Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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