PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
