You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
