no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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