Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux