The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.