Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.