when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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