So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
